As time grows closer to the end
I am not strong enough to push through
Until the day comes
I'll be weak, scared, and unknown

You saved me once.. twice..
The third time wont be a charm
My heart is sinking
deeper and deeper it grows for the dark.

Time stops but only for a moment
In your arms is safety.
Warmth and I can hear your heart beat
Slowly our rhythms sync
together as one
and then for that moment I smile.

Blogging;

"For some reason I really like this now. At first the thought of blogging for everyone to see bored me. Why would anyone want to read stuff that I had to say, but turns out its a way for me to actually express myself, and how I see things. People may not like what I have to say but then again who cares. Obviously if I post things they are meant to be read by people. So why not post things that I like, Like my poetry.Yes some may say my poems are dark, well that's okay cause most of my poems have a meaning and maybe just maybe that day I feel like typing something that doesn't brighten everyone's day. but still gets you to feel what I'm feeling, How it is to be in my shoes. I guess right now I'm just ranting about nonsense but its true, Not everyone is going to like the way I phrase things or how deep my emotions can get but I'm okay with that because in reality everyone has their right to have their own opinions, even though you may not agree with what they have to say." <- From a previous post

Now that  its been a few weeks with blogging I realized I really love this, and will be continuing with this because like I said in the last passage above it helps me with figuring out my problems or certain situations, it's my coping mechanism, and finally I found something that works for me. My blog is just a journal for me, its my life in writing, my thoughts and feelings typed for everyone to see, and hopefully a way for others to really understand who I am, instead of judging me for something I'm not.

To a close friend;

Years have gone by

a friendship still going on strong

Ups and Downs

you stood by my side

 while the rest ran and tried to hide,

 My friend

not like the rest. 

"the dogs" "The boys"

nothing to compare you to

protected me, From the ones untrue

The ones who made me cry

In some moments you dried my eyes

made me smile, Told me things will be okay

That they will get better after awhile
 When times get tough you never said good bye
For so many years you have been here
I can never thank you enough
for the reasons are unknown
with you by my side I'll never be alone

So smile when Times get rough
laugh when they see you crumble
because no matter what
I'll always be right by your side

 

-Kayla Pesek

My Hero;

Grandpa

Through the sickness, you smile

through the tears, a laugh comes around

The struggles are made to break us

but with your struggles you stay strong

The love you share

warms the hearts of those who care

 For each day, it brings a new beginning 

A new day to smile and be with those so proud

 A man with a smile that can go on for miles

Caring and strong

He pushes forward when his sickness brings him down

My younger year seems so faded now that the time is near

Each day I cherish, Trying to be the person you wanted me to be

 Knowing your proud, and that even though it's hard someday everything will be okay 

When I have children of my own and they ask me who I looked up to the most 

I'll say "My grandfather" and if they ask why I'll reply " Because he's the one who helped me as a person grow into someone I wanted to be." 

Grandpa You mean the world to me, and when things get rough again I know you'll be right by my side to say everything that is wrong with my life in the end will be okay.

Keep strong and hold on because this fight is not going to be easy to beat but I know you'll be able to

I love you

The last four months have been really hard for my family, my grandpa was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, stage 2 bone cancer with mesothelioma. I am very close to my grandpa. The thought of him not being around one day shatters me. He is my hero, Even with cancer he still day by day has a smile on his face. Stays strong for everyone in our family, even when he doesn't have enough strength to move from one room to another. I love my grandpa dearly and without his love and support with everything I do, it will be a major struggle  for me. There isn't an easy way to prepare yourself for death of a loved one but at some point I'll have to face the reality that he isn't going to be around forever. My grandpa is a loving and caring man, who would drop everything to see his family happy. He has helped me through a lot over these years, The moments I thought I was going to crack again he was by my side making sure I was alright, With everything I do he is there, and proud of me. I am proud to be the granddaughter of such a great man. I love you grandpa so much. I will always love you. I just hope someday I can make you as proud as I am of you.

The worst movie I've seen;

I absolutely hate the Fast & Furious movies. They bore me. Its nothing but cars and racing, the acting is terrible and I couldn't stay focused on the movie when I tried to watch them with a few friends.

Gross ^

If I had $150...

If I had $150 I would buy a brand new pair of Nike shoes.
The shoe's only cost $110 but I can also customize them to the way I want them. I would have them be high tops, with teal green, Pink, and white for  the colors  of the shoes. I've been trying to get new shoes for awhile so that is what I'd spend my money on.. (:

Check them out;
http://store.nike.com/us/en_us/product/air-mogan-mid-id-shoe/?piid=21888#?pbid=2603519&mid=289463859&sitesrc=nikestoreNT_sfem&cp=us_em_auto_idshrdesgn

Treyy Songzz (:

Can't be friends 

Verse 1:
Look What This Girl Done Did To Me,
She Done Cut Me Off From A Good Good Love.
She Told Me That Those Days Were Gone.
(Gone, Gone, Gone)

Chorus:
Now Im Sitting Here Going Half Crazy.
Cause I Know She Still Thinks About Me Too.
And There Aint No Way In Hell, That I Can Be Just Friends With You.
(You, You, You)
And I Wish We Never Did It,
And I Wish We Never Loved It,
And I Wish I Never Fell So Deep In Love With You And Now There Aint No Way That We Can Be Friends.

Verse 2:
The Way You Felt, No Faking It.
Maybe We Were Moving Just A Little Too Fast.
But What We've Done We Cant Take It Back.
(Back, Back, Back)

Chorus:
Now Im Sitting Here Half Way Crazy.
Cause I Know She Still Thinks About Me Too.
And There Aint No Way In Hell, That I Can Be Just Friends With You.
(You, You, You)
And I Wish We Never Did It,
And I Wish We Never Loved It,
And I Wish I Never Fell So Deep In Love With You And Now There Aint No Way That We Can Be Friends.

And Now All I Can Say Is Lalalalalalala.
Laaaaaa..
Lalalalalalalala
Lalala ohhh
Lalalalalalaaa..
Aint No Telling What We Could Of Been
(Aint No Telling What We Could've Been)

Break:
And If I Knew we'd End Like This,
I Never Would Of Kissed You Cause I Fell In Love With You.
We Never Would Of Kicked It, Girl Now Everything Is Different
I Lost My Only Lover And My Friend, Thats Why I Wish We Never Did It.
And I Wish We Never Loved It,
And I Wish I Never Fell So Deep In Love With You And Now There Aint No Way That We Can Be Friends.
And Now All I Can Say Is Lalalalalalala.
Laaaaaa..
Lalalalalalalala
Lalala ohhh
Lalalalalalaaa..
Aint No Telling What We Could Of Been

I love this song, well actually I love anything trey songz write/sings. So I just chose this one(: